Exiled, Excommunicated.

It seems that my in-built self destruct button may have finally gone nuclear. 


For several weeks my behaviour has been appalling, causing Mistress Cara to become extremely angry and disappointed with me.

I had taken time off at the start of this week to spend 2 days serving her, hoping to begin to rebuild her trust and confidence in her sissy slave.

Monday started well enough, I arrived at her house at the appointed time and began to wash the dishes while Mistress chatted and prepared to go into town. I drove her the short distance to the local shopping centre, listening attentively to her every word and trying to be as respectful as possible.

We parked the car and walked to the piercing parlour where just 5 weeks previously mistress Cara had had my nipples pierced. Today it was her turn, she had decided to have her navel pierced, together with a more intimate piercing. The same friendly girl assistant was on duty and quickly took Mistress into the treatment room while I waited. After only a few minutes the deed was done and Mistress Cara emerged with a pleased look on her beautiful face. She confessed to being in some pain so we walked slowly to have a reviving cup of coffee while she told me all about it.

We then made our way slowly back to the car and I drove to a favourite pub for a much needed lunch. My good intentions began to unravel, as a careless, thoughtless remark once again upset my Mistress. It was only meant as an inoffensive comment but I should have thought carefully before speaking. The damage was done. After lunch I drove Mistress home. She was in some pain from the double piercing and in any event was tired of her useless sissy already. I carried out some more household tasks before being sent home in the early evening.

The day had not gone as I had hoped, despite my best intentions I had once again upset my beautiful, kind Mistress. As a demonstration of her kindness and patience she had allowed me to return the next day as planned.

Feeling ever more determined, on Tuesday I again called on her at the appointed time. I was expected to give a thorough spring clean to her house, another area in which I had become far too lax lately. As always I washed the dishes first then took Mistress a cup of coffee. We discussed some planned events to which Mistress was eagerly looking forward, and to which she had graciously invited me. Once again, I opened my mouth and put my foot in it. As soon as I spoke I realised I had once again made a terrible mistake. I had completely misjudged Mistress Cara’s intentions and wishes and as a result she was simply furious.

I hastily excused myself and began to clean and tidy, hovering and cleaning the bathroom. It was too late, the damage was done. Mistress called me downstairs and in an icy voice ordered me to leave at once. I could hardly speak to beg for forgiveness, could hardly hold back the tears of shame and anger at myself. It would have done no good, again Mistress ordered me to leave. I hastily left and made my way home, distraught beyond measure.

I could scarcely see my way home through the tears welling up. Worse was to come, when I was at home I receivedl a text from my beloved Mistress saying was considering dismissing me from her service. I sobbed my heart out, though it was no more than I deserved. Mistress has dismissed other slave for far less, why should I expect any different treatment. My behaviour of late has been appalling, becoming over friendly and casual in my manner. I have only done the bare minimum of housework, just enough to get away with.

I adore and worship my Mistress, and always will. She has made me so happy, submitting to her, being humiliated and cuckolded on a daily, continual basis. She has allowed me unprecedented access to her private life, such a rare and cherished honour. Yet I still want more, loose sight of the fact that I am her slave, her property, nothing more. In fact I am just that, nothing. A pathetic useless being, not a man, not a woman either. A freak of nature, who can never satisfy a woman, and who longs to be fucked in the arse by my beautiful Mistress.

Mistress Cara only keeps me as her property because it amuses her to do so. Or rather did amuse her. Now I am living in real terror of being finally dismissed, sent away for all time. It is a very real prospect.

At present I am in limbo, on freeze frame, my life on hold while Mistress decides my fate.

It is horrible, the worst punishment imaginable.

Mistress Cara ignores me completely, knowing how it hurts me. No texts, no tweets, nothing, yet I am expected to send brief, daily texts, knowing they will be ignored. It sounds easy, but believe me, it is not. I know I will have to endure this for days, weeks probably. Only then will Mistress decide my fate. She has done this to other slaves, most simply disappear even before being formally dismissed and are never heard from again.

I must endure.

I must show my true devotion and submission to my amazing, unique Mistress. I deserve all of this and more. There are no words to express my shame and regret, they would fall on deaf ears anyway. Mistress is in no mood to listen to pathetic excuses from a pathetic sissy.

I spend every minute of every day hoping, hoping.