Who's fooling who?

It has been 7 months since Mistress Cara took Ownership of me, by jointly signing an Agreement which set out both of our rights and duties. I have no rights and many duties, Mistress Cara has every right and few duties.


Since then she has been slowly but surely taking full control of my mind, body and soul.

I won’t list all the control she has again, I’ve done so previously, but they range from the inconsequential, such as having to eat brown bread, not white, to more serious, such as denying me any orgasms for months at a time.

Taken in isolation, each control measure is tolerable, even enjoyable and would allow me to live a normal vanilla lifestyle. I have enjoyed each one as it has been implemented, longed for more, at times even begged Mistress Cara to tale total control.

The cumulative effect, however, is definitely life and mind changing.

Every minute of every day I have a tangible reminder that I am merely a slave, an object owned by my Mistress.

I have always slept naked, not anymore, Mistress wishes me to sleep in my pink satin nightie.

I cannot leave my house without wearing my lacy bra and knickers. At weekends I must paint my nails bright red.

Even when at home, I have to sit down to pee, not stand up.

The most onerous control is without doubt my long term chastity and denial. Although I gave up hope of ever pleasing any woman with my pathetic little clit many years ago, I do still yearn for an orgasm, to spurt my sissy slime from my hard clit. At times this denial is unbearable, as I also have to edge my clit 2 or 3 times each day, bringing my self to the very brink before having to stop. As a result I am permanently frustrated, sometimes to the point of wanting to scream out loud.

Mostly I am so very happy to be controlled, humiliated and denied by my beautiful, kind, caring Mistress. I love submitting to her, knowing that whatever she wants I will have no option but to obey. 2 months ago Mistress announced that she wanted to have both my nipples pierced. At first I was reluctant as I had never wanted any piercings. All too easily I complied, really turned on by having to submit, against my instinct, purely to please my Mistress. My piercings have since become my proudest possession, a real symbol of her Ownership. I adore them almost as much as I adore Mistress Cara.

There are times, when I am feeling frustrated or despondent, when I fleetingly think, fuckit, have a wank, shoot my slime out, Mistress will never know. Buy some white bread, leave my bra off. How will she ever know? But she will know, instinctively, by my attitude, my texts. What would be the point of deceiving her anyway? I would only be fooling myself.

The answer is to give up all control, whatever control I have left, submit totally to my unique, awesome, powerful Mistress.

I love the everyday reminders of her control and ownership and I would be completely lost without my Mistress. I will forever be her property, her slave, even if she should dismiss me. I will never serve anyone else.

Mistress, you have me, mind, body and soul.

Last chance

I have been excommunicated, exiled by Mistress Cara for gross misbehaviour and my life now is empty, worthless, hollow.


Mistress is ignoring me completely, knowing that is the worst possible punishment for her useless ungrateful sissy.

I am in limbo, on pause. I sent Mistress a brief text each day, which is ignored. I avidly read all of her tweets and of course her excellent blog, trying to glean snippets of information. I am like a leper, an outcast, looking in through a window ay my beautiful Mistress, longing to serve her again, desperate to make amends for my recent behaviour and attitude.

Although ignored, I am, thankfully, still Owned by Mistress Cara and I am very much still under her complete control, all day, every day.

In the months that she has Owned me, she has stripped away almost all of the control that I once had over my life.

I wear lacy knickers every day; I used to wear a bra, until Mistress had my nipples pierced. Once they are fully healed I am sure I will have to wear a bra again. I have to sit every time I pee, not stand. At weekends I paint my nails bright red or pink.

I have to edge my pathetic clit 3 times every day, but am denied any form of orgasm. It has been 8 weeks since my last ruined orgasm and my attempts at milking my prostate have been less than successful. I find that the midday edging at work is so humiliating and shamefull, having to wank my little clit in the toilet. The morning and evening edgings are a mix of pleasure and frustration, leaving my clit sticky with slime and desperate to spurt my built up slime. At times I feel like screaming in frustration, tearing my hair out.

I continue to practice with my assortment of butt plugs, conditioning my tight hole so that, when she chooses, Mistress Cara can fuck me with ever larger strapons as she continues to feminise and sissify me. I can regularly take most of them, though the large pink butt plug is still very tight and painful. It is humiliating to fuck myself with them, but I do so, longing for the time when my Mistress will once again fuck me, the most amazing experience that I have ever had.

Mistress Cara has control of me in other, more mundane ways too. I am no longer allowed to eat white bread, wholemeal or granary is her choice. If I wish to have some wine at home, I have to seek her approval first. When I accompanied Mistress for a meal in a pub or restaurant she has taken to ordering my food for me, without giving me a choice. She does not care to micro-manage her slut, instead she expects me to obey her wishes every day. So I am free to choose which pair of frilly knickers I wear each day, which colour nail polish to use. The more Mistress takes control of me, the more I love it. the feeling of total submission is wonderful, what I have craved for years. Even the occasional thrashings are welcome, though the pain is intense. It is all worthwhile to see the smile on her face, to know how pleased my Mistress is when inflicting pain and humiliation on her sissy slave.

Despite still being under her control, I am in a living hell, denied the oxygen of contact with my Goddess. I would do anything to turn the clock back, to expunge my errors, to correct my attitude. I had become complacent, taking my frequent visits for granted. I had become to friendly, forgetting my real purpose, my only purpose in life is to serve my Owner in any way she pleases.

Although she has not yet dismissed me outright, I am by no means in the clear, I am still terrified that, after weeks of excommunication, she will summarily disown me.

I am left not knowing what to do. If I send texts and tweets I may anger her more, she clearly wants nothing to do with me at present. If I don’t send them, she may conclude that I am sulking or, worse, that I am not bothered by my enforced exile. I am at my wits end, desperate to grovel and beg forgiveness, desperate to serve the most amazing, wonderful, powerful dominant Mistress imaginable.

Shortly after writing this, I received a text from Mistress Cara.

It seems that she may be prepared to allow me one last chance to serve her, to be Owned by her, but under much stricter conditions than before.

She has not said for definte yet, but I am hopeful of a reprieve.

I cannot begin to describe how relieved I am, how grateful. How desperate I will be to prove myself to my wonderful, kind, caring Mistress. It is true to say that she is my life, my world revolves around her. I am completely besotted by her and devoted to her. I must never ever fail her again.

Exiled, Excommunicated.

It seems that my in-built self destruct button may have finally gone nuclear. 


For several weeks my behaviour has been appalling, causing Mistress Cara to become extremely angry and disappointed with me.

I had taken time off at the start of this week to spend 2 days serving her, hoping to begin to rebuild her trust and confidence in her sissy slave.

Monday started well enough, I arrived at her house at the appointed time and began to wash the dishes while Mistress chatted and prepared to go into town. I drove her the short distance to the local shopping centre, listening attentively to her every word and trying to be as respectful as possible.

We parked the car and walked to the piercing parlour where just 5 weeks previously mistress Cara had had my nipples pierced. Today it was her turn, she had decided to have her navel pierced, together with a more intimate piercing. The same friendly girl assistant was on duty and quickly took Mistress into the treatment room while I waited. After only a few minutes the deed was done and Mistress Cara emerged with a pleased look on her beautiful face. She confessed to being in some pain so we walked slowly to have a reviving cup of coffee while she told me all about it.

We then made our way slowly back to the car and I drove to a favourite pub for a much needed lunch. My good intentions began to unravel, as a careless, thoughtless remark once again upset my Mistress. It was only meant as an inoffensive comment but I should have thought carefully before speaking. The damage was done. After lunch I drove Mistress home. She was in some pain from the double piercing and in any event was tired of her useless sissy already. I carried out some more household tasks before being sent home in the early evening.

The day had not gone as I had hoped, despite my best intentions I had once again upset my beautiful, kind Mistress. As a demonstration of her kindness and patience she had allowed me to return the next day as planned.

Feeling ever more determined, on Tuesday I again called on her at the appointed time. I was expected to give a thorough spring clean to her house, another area in which I had become far too lax lately. As always I washed the dishes first then took Mistress a cup of coffee. We discussed some planned events to which Mistress was eagerly looking forward, and to which she had graciously invited me. Once again, I opened my mouth and put my foot in it. As soon as I spoke I realised I had once again made a terrible mistake. I had completely misjudged Mistress Cara’s intentions and wishes and as a result she was simply furious.

I hastily excused myself and began to clean and tidy, hovering and cleaning the bathroom. It was too late, the damage was done. Mistress called me downstairs and in an icy voice ordered me to leave at once. I could hardly speak to beg for forgiveness, could hardly hold back the tears of shame and anger at myself. It would have done no good, again Mistress ordered me to leave. I hastily left and made my way home, distraught beyond measure.

I could scarcely see my way home through the tears welling up. Worse was to come, when I was at home I receivedl a text from my beloved Mistress saying was considering dismissing me from her service. I sobbed my heart out, though it was no more than I deserved. Mistress has dismissed other slave for far less, why should I expect any different treatment. My behaviour of late has been appalling, becoming over friendly and casual in my manner. I have only done the bare minimum of housework, just enough to get away with.

I adore and worship my Mistress, and always will. She has made me so happy, submitting to her, being humiliated and cuckolded on a daily, continual basis. She has allowed me unprecedented access to her private life, such a rare and cherished honour. Yet I still want more, loose sight of the fact that I am her slave, her property, nothing more. In fact I am just that, nothing. A pathetic useless being, not a man, not a woman either. A freak of nature, who can never satisfy a woman, and who longs to be fucked in the arse by my beautiful Mistress.

Mistress Cara only keeps me as her property because it amuses her to do so. Or rather did amuse her. Now I am living in real terror of being finally dismissed, sent away for all time. It is a very real prospect.

At present I am in limbo, on freeze frame, my life on hold while Mistress decides my fate.

It is horrible, the worst punishment imaginable.

Mistress Cara ignores me completely, knowing how it hurts me. No texts, no tweets, nothing, yet I am expected to send brief, daily texts, knowing they will be ignored. It sounds easy, but believe me, it is not. I know I will have to endure this for days, weeks probably. Only then will Mistress decide my fate. She has done this to other slaves, most simply disappear even before being formally dismissed and are never heard from again.

I must endure.

I must show my true devotion and submission to my amazing, unique Mistress. I deserve all of this and more. There are no words to express my shame and regret, they would fall on deaf ears anyway. Mistress is in no mood to listen to pathetic excuses from a pathetic sissy.

I spend every minute of every day hoping, hoping.

Fact or Fiction??

minnie waited nervously outside the door. Waited until it was precisely 09.00, then knocked 3 times. Her Owner, Mistress Cara insisted on punctuality from her slaves, not early, not late, not even by a minute.


It was different for Mistress of course. She enjoyed making the nervous wretch wait, letting the anticipation build. Eventually the door opened just wide enough for minnie to enter and drop to her knees, head bowed to the floor at the feet of her Mistress. No words were spoken, Mistress Cara busied herself, getting ready to go out with her slave.

minnie had only been her property for a few short weeks. In that short time minnie had become devoted to her beautiful Mistress. Although she had previous experience with pro-Dommes, minnie had been searching for a real life Mistress for years, had almost given up hope of finding a powerful dominant woman who would know how to make the best use of this pathetic specimen.

Mistress Cara had set some simple tasks at first, to test her potential slaves ability, obedience. Humiliating tasks, buying girlie pink knickers and telling the shop assistant that they were for her. Wearing them and wanking in a public toilet. Slowly Mistress Cara had tightened her grip on minnie. She now had to wear girlie knickers at all times, had thrown out her old men’s pants. minnie no longer thought of herself as ‘he’, always as ‘she’. Mistress Cara had already conditioned her to that. Just as Mistress had taken control of minnie’s pathetic clit and forbidden her to cum, forbidden even ruined orgasms. It had been weeks since minnie was last permitted to spill her filth. Now all she was permitted was to milk herself with a vibrating butt plug up her tight asshole.

That was the reason for today’s visit. Mistress Cara had a special treat in store for her sissy, one that minnie had been training for for weeks.

minnie remained kneeling on the floor. She was familiar with her Mistress’s home as she was granted the privilege of visiting several times a week, to clean and tidy, or simply keep Mistress amused. Most visits were ‘vanilla’, with Mistress Cara’s family present. Even so that didn’t stop minnie being subtly humiliated and reminded of her lowly status. A softly spoken word from Mistress, a look from her deep dark eyes was all it took.

There had been a few heavy sessions. Mistress could be extremely harsh and brutal when she wished, leaving minnie’s pale pink ass black and blue for days. Or trembling in the face of a torrent of savage verbal abuse, demeaning and degrading the little sissy until tears flooded out.

Despite that, because of that, minnie had become totally devoted to her saviour, her Owner, her Mistress. However harsh and brutal Mistress Cara may be she was equally kind and caring, tender at times, when she knew that her sissy had given everything she could endure to please her Mistress.

So to the matter in hand. Mistress gathered up her bag and indicated that minnie could stand and lead the way to her car.

They drove to minnie’s home, a few miles away. That was another unbelievable bonus, the Mistress of her dreams lived a few minutes drive away! Once again minnie counted her blessings. Mistress Cara chatted while they drove, in her soft sensual voice that minnie had come to love.

As they pulled into minnie’s home, she helped Mistress out of the car and showed her inside, carefully locking the front door behind her. minnie had been nervous enough before, now she was almost shaking with trepidation, her hands sweating, her pulse racing at the thought of what lay ahead. She knew what Mistress had in mind, desperately wanted it, was terrified of failing her beloved Mistress.

Mistress Cara made herself comfortable while minnie hastily made a cup of coffee for her. Mistress had taken off her long coat, to reveal a figure hugging red and black pvc corset, and impossibly short mini skirt and lacy black hold-up stockings. And a pair of the highest heel stiletto’s imaginable. minnie dropped to her knees again and offered the coffee to her Mistress. As Mistress Cara drank the coffee, minnie drank in the wonderful sight before her, her beautiful Mistress, so calm and confident, so elegant and serene, so obviously enjoying her slaves shredded nerves.

After what seemed to minnie to be ages, Mistress Cara spoke. ‘Go and prepare yourself, slut.’ minnie crawled out of the room, sweating with fear and dread, into the bathroom and prepared herself for the ordeal ahead. She felt sick with nerves, excited beyond belief, trembling with anticipation she thought she might pass out. She forced herself to calm down, washed carefully and put on her sissy pink maid’s dress and frilly pink knickers before crawling back to her Mistress.

It seemed at first that Mistress Cara had not moved, until minnie was at her feet. She gasped as she saw that her divine Mistress had removed the impossibly small mini skirt and was now wearing a pair of black latex pants with a huge black rubber cock sticking up, pointing directly at minnie. She could hardly take her eyes off it, but managed to glimpse Mistress Cara’s beaming grin. ‘Suck it bitch.’ Not daring to hesitate, minnie bobbed her head down and began to lick at the huge phallus. She had been trained to suck strap-ons before, but none this size.

Mistress Cara laughed and shoved her sissy’s mouth far down the cock, making her gag. ‘You had better make it good and wet, or it will hurt all the more.’ She laughed, relaxing on the sofa as her slut went to work.

minnie felt her face turn bright red with embarrassment and humiliation as she tried to fit all of the black cock in her mouth. Her mouth felt dry, she had no spit to wet the phallus, it stuck to her lips as she bobbed up and down. This was the moment she had been waiting for, longing for since she had become Mistress Cara’s property. She was desperate to please, desperate to submit to anything her Owner wanted. She didn’t care about the humiliation, the emasculation, the shame. She only wanted to please her Mistress.

‘Stop. Turn round. Head on the floor.’ Mistress still sounded soft and caring, but there was a hard edge to her voice now. minnie did as ordered and waited, trembling with fear, fear of failure. She sensed Mistress moving off the sofa, leapt as she felt her sissy knickers being torn off, squealed as Mistress applied some cold lube to her tight hole. Mistress Cara pushed minnie’s knees further apart and moved closer to her target. minnie could feel the warmth of her Mistress behind her as she gritted her teeth in readiness. She could feel the tip of the cock on her hole, resting lightly, teasing, tormenting. She sensed Mistress applying more lube to the cock and held her breath.

Mistress Cara started to verbally humiliate her slutty slave, telling her how useless she was, how pathetic her clit was, no use to anyone, all the time slowly increasing the pressure on minnie’s tight hole. Mistress ordered her to beg to be fucked, beg for the cock. minnie tried her best, in a thin quavering voice that was no more than a whisper. ‘Louder!’ minnie tried again, imploring her Mistress to fuck her like the slut she was.

Finally after weeks of anticipation, of training with butt plugs, minnie felt a sharp almost unbearable pain as her Mistress rammed home the big cock. It could have been a red hot poker, the pain was so intense. minnie gasped and felt tears welling up, tears of pain, tears of joy. Mistress Cara then began to rhythmically pound away, forcing the cock in and out again and again. Somehow minnie kept breathing, started whispering ‘thank You Mistress, thank You’ over and over. She barely noticed that her Mistress’s breath was getting deeper and deeper, that her Mistress was hunched over her so she could feel her breath on the back of her neck.

Her useless little clit finally came to life, grew hard and started to dribble slime onto the towel on the floor. Mistress Cara had stopped verbally humiliating her sissy, there was no need now, the deed was done. Instead Mistress continued to pound away, the double ended dildo inside her bring her satisfaction as she fucked her devoted slave into total submission, fucked her into total obedience, fucked her for her own pleasure. Fucked her sissy just because she could.

minnie could hardly see through her tears, could hear and feel her Mistress’s pleasure, could hear her own voice still begging to be fucked by the Mistress she adored and worshipped.

Mistress Cara withdrew and sat back on the sofa, a light sheen on her brow the only sign of her pleasure. ‘Go and clean yourself, minnie, and take this with you.’ She gently placed her end of the dildo in minnie’s mouth as she crawled away.

Easter happenings

I have spent the Easter weekend in company with Mistress Cara, as always enjoying serving her and doing menial chores for her, more of that later.
On Good Friday I was invited to join Mistress and her real man for an enjoyable drive in the country, visiting various pubs for a quiet drink, soaking up the atmosphere at each one before moving on. It was very relaxed and enjoyable, chatting to Mistress Cara about both scene and vanilla topics.

Eventually we ended up at a very reasonable restaurant and enjoyed a late lunch, all of us choosing a fish dish of some sort, purely by coincidence.
We drove back to Mistress’ home and settled down for a quiet evening, watching various dvd’s and having a chilled glass of wine as well. Mistress was looking wonderful, although still suffering slightly from a nagging cough from earlier in the week. She was lively and as always took delight in humiliating with a quiet word whenever she chose. I was very happy, simply being in company with my Mistress is a great delight and honour and I made sure to remember my duties, keeping her glass filled, clearing away and washing up as required. I was once again permitted to sleep on the floor of her living room when she retired to her bed with her real man.
Saturday dawned and we had a lie in until 9.00 or so. Her real man had been called to work, so the rest of the morning was spent chatting with Mistress, being given instructions to create a new blog and discussing how best to do that. In the afternoon a brief visit to my own home was in order, to allow me to shower and change clothes. Mistress Cara accompanied me, to give her a break from being cooped up in her own home. While I showered she relaxed on my sofa, watching tv. After a brief stay I drove Mistress back to her home, taking the makings for supper with us.
I am not the best cook, with only a limited repertoire but I managed to cook chicken fajitas which thankfully were gratefully received by all. What a relief! Once again I slept on the floor while Mistress Cara enjoyed the delights of her real man.

On Sunday Mistress stayed in bed until 11.00, enjoying a well earned break from her daily routine. I took my leave shortly after lunch so she could have more quality time alone.
Shortly after I returned home however, I received a curt text from Mistress, saying that I had failed in my duties as her sissy maid. Apart from washing dishes I rarely do any further housework unless instructed. I admit that I have become slack and slovenly, enjoying rather too much simply being in the company of my Mistress and forgetting that my sole purpose in life is to serve her and make her life easier.
In future on each visit I will have to present a list of chores that I must do, for Mistress to check and inspect. I feel ashamed that I have let my Mistress down, that I have taken advantage of her kindness in allowing me to visit so often without carrying out simple household tasks that, as her sissy slave I should do automatically. From now on Mistress will be monitoring me closely, I do not dare to make any further mistakes.

minnie's beta blog!

From Mistress Cara's minnie blog